Sorry Paul, but I cannot go any longer without giving my two bits worth about out national carrier. We flew last night to Victoria, via Vancouver (wow, three v - words in a row, must be a world's record). MDW used her Aero Plan points and per usual, Air Canada gave us the shittiest times possible. We booked this flight in January and we still got crapped upon. We left home at 8:30 P.M.
and arrived in Victoria at 10:30. Didn't get to our hotel until after midnight. Nice times AC. Lucky thing we spent so much money to accumulated the points so we could have such a special reward from AC. Good for them, bad for us. You fucking guys!
Let's start with the flight from Edmonton to Vancouver. Crammed in, you don't even get anything good on the TV. West Jet gives you live TV. I watched NCAA basketball all the way to
Toronto in March and fucking AC gives you videos to watch. Old fucking videos. Then, we don't even get a fucking bag of pretzels or Bits & Bites. Nice. What a joke. We flew to Vancouver in April with West Jet and they offered a little snack, but fucking AC gives you nothing. Good way to begin your trip: leave so late that you are not getting to your hotel until after midnight and they cheap out on the mini snack.
So we get to Vancouver and are sent to a gate #31 which is at the end of the world, literally. It was right next to the tarmac. In fact, the small prop planes would arrive and almost taxi right up to the window. You couldn't hear the person next to you speak. The lady at the desk was wearing big safety ear phones to block out the sound. Then they would open the doors and the noise was like the end of the world. This went on for about an hour. Very pleasant. Quite enjoyable.
Finally it was our turn to take off and MDW and I were near the front of the line to go through the desk. MDW did what she always does for every flight that we go on: she has our passports and puts the boarding passes in them and hands them to the person. MDW always goes first (see I am a gentleman, whether we are at the airport or lining up to buy a big screen TV). I would estimate that we have gone, in our 35 years together; on over a hundred flights (see where our money goes!!) and no one has ever said anything to us about MDW having both passports; until tonight. This fucking ignorant, power controlling whore, says to MDW, "each person has to have their own passport." And then she said " you know, it is against the law for a person to have another person's passport in their hands." Oh really? Well, thank you very much. My life is fucking complete. Now I know the proper way to go through a check-in desk. Fucking Judge Judy is citing the law for us. I was unaware that this lady had passed the fucking bar exam and is now setting everyone in the world straight on passport law. Home land security can rest easy knowing that this broad is on guard. I wonder if this is just a part time job for this apparently highly trained lawyer?
I was not particularly happy with AC and now having to listen to this bitch trying to exert her power over people was difficult to take. It took every ounce of self control I had to not be sarcastic to this women for her 'helpful hint'. I was a little sarcastic, saying "Really? Thank you very much for that information." I wanted to rip her throat out. I don't get a little snack, but I do get a little lesson in the proper method of handing something to, apparently; the most fucking important person on earth. I guess all of the hundreds of people working at check-in desks across the world have been fucking up for the past 35 years. Only Little Miss Know Everything is doing it correctly. I have a little bit of advice for you lady: why don't you grab a big can of FUCK OFF? And what can you do? If you say anything, they have the power to basically do anything they want to you. Just what I want, some power-crazed woman sending me to the guys with rubber gloves, spreading me out on the tarmac face down. Does that cost me extra Aero plan points madame?
Then we get to walk out on the tarmac and board the plane. Tarmac? WTF? Are we in some third world country? What are we: drug dealers? I have walked out on the tarmac twice in my life and both times it was in backward countries. This is Canada, not some island off the coast of nowhere! (Getting off the plane, we were told to stop for safety reasons: some yutz was driving a garden tractor and had to make a half circle turn in front of us at about 1/4 of a mile an hour. Ya, some big fucking safety situation).
This is exactly AC to a tee: they give you fucking shitty service at a premium price, yet they are condescending and belittling to you at the same time. The old double whammy. I have never heard one person ever say "Gee, Air Canada is a great airlines," Have you heard that? Everyone I know despises AC, but what the fuck are you going to do? They got you by the short and curlies and they know it. I will give AC credit for being a safe airline. They haven't had a lot of disasters in their history. Their pilots are top caliber. I feel tremendously safe when flying with them. Despite having confidence in their safety, I always feel like I need to kiss their asses after flying with them. It's like they did me a great service by taking my enormous amount of money and getting somewhere that I want to go. I have never felt that AC cared about me as a customer or that my needs and feeling ever are important to them. They make it entirely clear that they control all situations, and if you don't like it, too fucking bad.
Our return trip started off with a 3:15 A.M. wake up call. Thank you Air Canada. Nice fucking reward for our Aero Plan points. Our pre-dawn trip to Vancouver was without incident until while sitting on the plane ready to deplane, they called our name (which can never be good) to talk to the guy on the run way (again, are we in Nicaragua?). Well, surprise, surprise, the guy tells us that they have moved us from the 9:00 A.M. flight to the 7:00 A.M. flight. Great, we get home a couple hours earlier. MDW asked me what I was going to say about AC now. They actually did something nice. Isn't that wonderful? AC actually doing something good for someone, us! Am I wrong about AC? Could I probably be wrong? Hmmm ….
Well of coarse I was not wrong. AC fucked us over one more time. Upon arrival in Edmonton we discovered … OUR LUGGAGE WAS LEFT IN VANCOUVER. Ahhh wonderful. AC shows their true colours. How fucking difficult is it to get our luggage home with us. As I have said earlier in this rant that we have traveled quite a bit and only twice in thirty five years has our luggage not made it back with us. Both times it was AC and both times it was from Vancouver to Edmonton. Upon arrival, the 'helper' assured us that our luggage would be on the next flight. We arrived at 9:30 A.M. We decided that would wouldn't go to the farm to do some gardening, so not to miss the call when our stuff arrived. Me, being the eternal pessimist, said we wouldn't get our stuff until 8:00 P.M.. I was wrong, it was 8:30 P.M. Thank you AC for another screw job.
By the way, we handed our passports to the agent the same way we always did and of coarse nothing was said about this being against the law or incorrect. Fucking lady. Fucking Air Canada.
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