Many Apologies

Sorry about the way the latest blogs are written (all bunched together, no indents or the paragraphs running together, etc.). When I write on my iPad, that is what happens. I don't know how to correct it so .... As for the bad grammer and spelling, well that's just my lousy writing and not much can be done about that without returning to grade one and starting over. I would suggest patience and sympathy would be your best course of action.

Referees - Booooooooo!

Sitting and watching the SA/OKC game and thinking about how lousy the refs are in the NBA. This made then think about the officials in the other main sports: NHL, MLB,NFL and of course the EPL.. just joking. Who gives a fiddlers fuck about soccer, let alone soccer refs? Let's start with the NHL. I think the refs in the NHL are OK. They don't suck and they are not great. They use to really, really suck in the playoffs, but I think they have gotten better. There are more penalties called in playoff games, even in the late going and overtime. NFL: The game of football is unbelieveably hard to officiate, I think. Where do you begin when it comes to penalties? There are probably 10-20 penalties on each and every play, so when do you call one? I think they take a bit of a 'I haven't called one in awhile, so I will' or a 'I just called one, so I won't ' approach. I don't the refs in football do a very good job, but it's an impossible task, so I'm not really negative towards them. I think they are just happy at the end of the game that they survived and hopefully so do the players. That's all you can hope for in football. MLB: I think the baseball umps are the best. They get most of the calls correct, not saying that they don't fuck up at times, but generally they get it right. I watched a game the other night in which, after watching four or five different camera shots of the play, it did not show undeniable proof one way or another what the call was. How can you say the ump is incorrect in making the call he did. That's what he thought it was, and he had to make a quick decision. Most bang-bang plays in baseball are like that. They don't have the benefit of instant replay. It's close and they decide. Many, many time the instant replays prove the umpire correct and if they are wrong, again; bang/bang, they make a call. And if it's so close that even instant replay is not conclusive, then the ump made the right call. Now what makes the MLB umpires unbearable is their contentiousness. They are fucking assholes. They cause more problems than any other official. They turn a fleck of sand into a dessert storm. They don't know when to shut the fuck up and just umpire. They antagonize players/coaches, goading them on. If they just shut the fuck up, things would be great, but no, they have to have the last word. Then they get to do what they love to do: toss someone out. Ohhhh, look at me. I can kick someone out of the game. I'm important. Fucking jerks. I left the worst for the last. NBA refs are the worst. The fucking worst by the distance from here to Saturn. They are brutal. They get nothing right. They don't call the rules of the game. They repeatedly do make-up calls to correct their fuck ups from the last play. They decide what are rules and what are not rules. Are traveling and carrying the ball still rules, because players today can commit these infractions endlessly with being called. What exactly is a foul? Is it the same when LBJ gets hit as when, the backup center for OKC gets hit? No fucking way. Superstars are reffed different than stars. Stars are reffed different than role players. Forget about the scrubs on the bench, they don't have a fucking chance with officals. A foul in the first quarter should be a foul in the fourth quarter. Is it? Ha, ha. No fucking way. NBA officials look at the score, the player, the situation before they make a call. That's a fucking joke. No one knows when a foul is going to be called, except of course the superstar, who knows that he will get every call because of who he is. Again... a fucking joke. NBA refs run a close second to the MLB umps for goading players/coaches on and giving them technical fouls. I have always said that a fucking monkey can give a player/coach a technical. That takes no reffing skill at all. All you have to be able to do is to signal the letter T with your hands, not exactly a tremendous accomplishment. I am surprised that an NBA player hasn't killed an official. Squash them like a bug. I have said this before but who hasn't thought about doing that to an official? Like the old Rosanne Barr joke when she was asked about what she thought about the Salt Lake City lady who stabbed her husband twenty times. Rosanne said "I admire her restraint." Basketball refs should thank their lucky stars that one of the thyroidial (made up word!) giants that they walk with don't strangulate them just for fun. Maybe they should go back to reffing the rules correctly, as they are written in the rule book. Oh wait, that would infer that they can read. STUPID SOCCER FACT OF THE DAY: What is the fucking deal with soccer teams kicking the ball back to their own goalie? They do this many, many times during each game. Have you ever seen that happen in hockey? Ohh, here's a great idea... we have the puck at the other team's blueline, but let's pass it back to Patrick Roy and let him pass to someone to start the attack again. Fucking ridiculous. And they wonder why there is no scoring in soccer. Maybe it's because most teams get more shots on their own goal than on the opponents net. That would limit the scoring opportunities, wouldn't it??? What a fucking lame-ass game!

Stupid Soccer Fact #2

I just about forgot to include my soccer stupidity for today: Only is soccer would they have a TV show called 'The Footy Show'. WTF is that? The footy show? Is that some kind of fetish channel that Rex Ryan would appreciate? Again: L - A - M - E

Yawn, San Antonio is Going to Win

I really shouldn't complain about the fact that San Antonio will win the NBA championship again this year. I bitch and moan about the horrible play in the league and how the young players have no clue about playing basketball. It's all about dunks and threes, which is absolutely the worst way to play basketball. But, San Antonio plays basketball. I should be singing their praise over and over again, but I have such a hard time embracing them. They are not really likeable. Look at their players: Duncan is fantastic. The most under-appreciated player in the history of the league. He is amazing, even at this stage of his career. He is certainly not the Tim Duncan of ten years ago, but he is still dominating. But he also a whinning jerk, who complains about every call. He is not likeable at all. Never was, never will be. HOF! Parker is incredible. If he ever learns to shave, he probably could get a movie star to stay married to him. He is so quick. His mid-range jump shot is money. No one can guard him. But he is from France. He alwayts looks condecending, as if he has no time for anyone. And of course he has a little bit of the soccer player in him, embellishing any contact he receives. The French have never been loved and it is easy to see why with Parker. HOF Gnobelli: How would like to meet him in a dark alley? He would rip your lungs out without a second thought. But he can fucking play. I do not think I have ever seen a better sixth man in all the time I have watched the NBA. He is sure-fire HOF player. He may be the best foreign player to ever play the game, even better than Dirk Diddler. Danny Green: Caroling guy. Can't dislike him. Bonner: What's to like? Stiff, slow, Florida. But Popovich gets the best out of him and he is valuable player. Seems like he never misses a three. Stephan Jackson: Thug. Felon. Hateful. But he can play. Splitter: Huh? Brazilian stiff, but contributes because he plays only against the other team's bench players and they suck worse than him. Leonard: rookie, is afraid to make a mistake or Parker will send him to the French Foreign Legion. Very talented and contributes whatever he can Diaw: Cow. Lard-ass. Another player from France, who is not nearly as good as Parker. Somehow he starts and contributes. He must be happy to be in San An-tone, because he is easily unfocused. This result is him sucking horribly. Not so in SA Popovich: Easily the best coach in the NBA and has been for a long, long time. Ten times the coach that Phil Jackson was. He gets players to play or he sits their rich asses down on the bench. Players obviously buy in or else they are terrified of him. Either way is good. HOF coach. Has won 4 championships and will win again this year. When will he get the recognition he deserves? Other bench guys just contribute when called upon. They don't complain. They know they are llucky to be there and if they just shut up and play when asked, they will get a ring. Of course SA is playing OKC. Other than Durant, who in my opinion is the best player in the league, OKC is not too sharp. Westbrook is a retard. Along with LBJ, he is the best physical specimen in the league. He's unbelieveable,but I am not too sure he is very bright. And Perkins? WTF is up with him? Mr. Mean. More like Mr. Bad Hands. Or perhaps Mr. Zero Offensive Ability. Is he fuking useless or what? He does sweat amazing amounts from that tiny little beard he has, but that is not really a serviceable basketball skill is it? Is it possible for OKC to score inside the key with their big men? You can not win a chimpionship without some kind of inside game. OKC has none. NONE! I do like Harden. I am watching and OKC get a little run and Pop calls a time out and really fucking gives it to Parker. That's why he is a great coach: he grinds everyone. Parker is giving him the soccer goalie excuse: thowing his hands in the air and blaming others. Pop just fucking grinds him. I love it. So, maybe I should be more open to appreciating SA for what they are: a great team, with great leaders and a great coach. They play the game the way it should be played and they are coached by a guy who demands that they play that way. By the way, Popovich does have some Carolina connection, which explains his excellence.

A Little Reason I Want to Crash Into Most People in Sherwood Park

I've had a frustrating, albeit, successful day of retirement.  As a great man once said, "Busy, busy, busy!"  The frustration came mainly from my interactions with Home Depot and their lack of product.  When you buy a grass trimmer from a store, is it not reasonable to expect this store to have the replacement spool you need when you inevitably run our of cord?  But no... I have to buy the cord by itself and wind it into the exciting spool that I have.  I don't know about you, but I have had very little success with that whole situation in the past.  I prefer to buy the pre-wound spools, which cost more but fuck it's only a couple of bucks, so what's the big whoop?  Perhaps when you buy a new grass trimmer, a person should buy a life-time supply of spools?  Oh, sure, it would cost you a lot but then the store would have your money and not have to worry (like they do..) about you not being able to provide the correct spool for you.  What a fucking gong show...
 My real frustration came at a red light.  Go figure...  I was turning west onto Wye Road from Rona and I was facing a car with a women, who was looking down (the universal sign for I am texting someone, or I am reading a text or email from my electronic device).  She was not signalling.  The light changed and two cars beside her came straight through and I waited while she navel gazed or whatever.  Suddenly she looked up and went.  She put on her signal light on and turned left, right in front of me as I had moved out to make my left turn.   I sat there with my thumb up my rear end, not knowing what to do.  She continued on merrily on her way, completely unaware of what a fucking retard she was.
That is why driving in Sherwood Park is is the bane of my existence ...

I see there is going to be major coverage of the European Soccer Championship.  I can't fucking wait.  About six months ago, in the dentists office, whilst waiting for my mother-in-law (see what a good son-in-law I am), I wrote all  the things about soccer that drove me fucking crazy.  I have a very, very long list.  So for this spectacular soccer event, I think I will share my thoughts on a regular basis.  Soccer really is the stupidest sport in the world and needs to be exposed for its stupidness.  I will give you a little  pre-tournament sampling of why soccer sucks:
No sport worth anything would call its exhibition games 'friendlies'.  What a fucking stupid name.  Friendlies?  Please...  Ohhhhh, Ireland and England are playing a friendly. L - A - M - E

Like Eric Burton said "we gotta get out of this place"

If it's the last thing we ever do. That's the next line of the old Animals song that Sherwood Park makes me think of. If you have read the Sherwood Park News today,there is two tremendously disturbing articles. The first is on the front page about how there is going to be a bit of a traffic problem due to the fact that the 300 car parking lot for the main bus station on Wye Road will be lost due to expansion of the Anthony Henday. WTF? They want people to use public transportation yet they don't provide any parking for people when they use it. Great solutions they provide to solve this 'minor' problem: take another bus there, walk, car pool with someone, or perhaps ride your bike there. Isn't that fucking wonderful. They want you to be green, but they didn't have the forsite to see these problems and do something when the shit hits the fan. Were/are the city planners incompetent or what? If you have been up to the transit station by Home Depot lately, the parking on the road that runs from Boston Pizza to the bus station is ridiculous. The entire mile consists of cars on both sides of the road, making it a fucking goat path. The parking lot at the station holds about a hundred cars and about five hundred are needed. The planning for Sherwood Park has been pathetic,from parking to the brilliant, let's put a traffic light every hundred meters. A FUCKING JOKE! Which leads to the other story. The other headline that makes me want to throw up reads '100,000 people by 2016'. Isn't that great. That's just what Sherwood Park needs: more fucking people! I moved here in 1964 and there was 5,000 people. Soon there will be one hundred thousand people. If that does not make you cringe, I don't know what will. Luckily there is the same two main roads to Edmonton now as there was then, because we wouldn't want to have any traffic problems would we? (By the way Edmonton, thanks for the fucking bridge problem at the beginning of the Sherwood Park Freeway. That little detour is lovely). One hundred thousand people. Great. So let me get this straight: there is no parking, the roads are full all of the time, traffic control consists of a never ending amount of traffic lights and there is no solutions to these problems... but we going to have more people? Brilliant, fucking brilliant! 'We gotta get out of this place If it's the last thing we ever do, We gotta get out of this place Girl, there's a better life for me and you...' The Animals 1965

Baseball Blues
  As most of you know, I love baseball.  There are many things I love about the game, but I would rather talk about a few things that bug me about baseball.  Not the obvious: boredom, but instead a couple of little things that drive me crazy.
The contact play.  WTF?  Why would anyone, anytime, use this fucking stupid play.  Few you who don't fully understand all the finer points of baseball, the contact play is when there is a runner on third base, with less than two outs, and on any contact by the batter, runs for home.  So unless the ball is hit directly at an infielder, the runner should score, I guess that is the thinking.  I would like to see the fucking data on what % or runners make it home on that play.  It seems to me that the % is not more than 20%, which is fucking useless.  It invariably ends up in a throw home and the runner being out from here to Hoboken.  Stupid play.
Next thing that infuriates me about baseball is all the unwritten rules that are involved.  You don't steal when far behind; or far ahead, don't watch you home run go into the stands, where and when to slide have a plethora or unwritten rules, throwing at a batter after the player in front of him hits a home run (like that is the next batter's fucking fault) you hit one of mine: I hit one of yours, don't throw at someone above the shoulders (but it is ok to drill someone in the ass or the back - do you know how much that fucking hurts???), no stealing signs from the other team, run hard all the time or someone will plunk you next time up - just to teach you a lesson, don't take extra bases in a blowout, whether you are ahead of behind, as well and many, many more.
Unwritten rules suck.  I am a rules person.  If there is a rule, write it down and I will follow it.  Screw the wink, wink, nudge, nudge, everyone knows you're not supposed to do that.  Stupid baseball tradition.

    I am inspired to do more blogging.  It's not that I don't have anything to do... I am busier than when I had a full time job.
    It has been an interesting spring.  Lousy weather, baseball beginning, hockey playoffs, Neil's wedding, NBA excitement (yawn!), and work, work, work.  Oh, let's not fogey that the fucking road construction season is upon us.  Isn't that nice.  I will use the old Red Skeleton line about Edmonton: "It's a nice city... if they ever finish it!"
    Leading pet peeves about road construction: 1) sign-age - is it possible to put a sign further than fifty feet from the beginning of the worksite.   You're driving and boom, you're in the wrong fucking lane, going over the speed limit with the threat of double payment fines.  Nice. 2) When they decide to put up a sign that there is a lane closure ahead, is it too much to ask for some indication of which lane is closed?  You're driving along and the sign says lane closed ahead and suddenly you are in Vegas betting on which lane is the correct one.  Of course I am a gigantic loser and always pick the wrong lane and end up angry, frustrated and swearing.  Just fucking tell me which lane is closed; I can read, I will move over.  Fuck!
    Isn't is great that Edmonton is pretending to be 'environmentally' aware by designating lanes in the city with bike paths and the lovely sign to 'share the road'.  Fuck you!  There is not enough space on most city roads to have two cars drive safely and now they want the bikes to have a lane.  What a great way to move traffic through the city... lessen the number of lanes available.  Ridiculous! I understand that bike riding is a good way to cut down the traffic, but Edmonton is not designed to have bikers on the same driving areas as vehicles.  Maybe the brilliant minds that designed the city and its streets should have been a little more forward thinking to foresee the problems that are occurring now.  I do not know the answer but I will complain anyways.
    Last thing: has anyone been through the intersection on Baseline at the Sobey's?  They are ripping the whole fucking thing up and reorganizing the intersection.  It has not been around for that long and they are completely redoing it?  WTF?  Who was the brilliant mind that planned that intersection in the first place?  It's not like it has been there fifty years and just needs upgrading.  It can't be more than twenty years old and it needs redoing?
I havegot to get out of Sherwood Park....