Giddy-Up

Worst summer activity: HORSEBACK RIDING.  Fucking horseback riding! WTF is up with that?
We took 'TB' and his friend to the mountains and one of the 'fun' activities that MDW decided we needed to do was to go for a horse ride in the mountains.  Easy, right?  Fun and games, right?
We decided on a two hour ride, as opposed to say a five hour journey through hell.  We get on the horse and  as God as my witness, we had not traveled fifty meters, where there was a photographer taking pictures (money, money, money!), and my knees were fucking killing me.  Obviously my knee ligaments were not made for horseback riding.  Here we were, about twenty-six seconds into our two hour ride and I am in agony.  I looked at my watch and though OMG, how am I going to survive this debacle.  I didn't want to whine and bitch because 'TB' was really enjoying it and besides, believe it or not, I can be a tad negative; and I didn't want to be like that.  After all, here we were, in a beautiful setting, the great outdoors, and I'm being a pussy because my knee hurts.
So on and on we travelled.  I kept looking and looking at my watch, praying that the minutes would fly by, however; as usual when things aren't going so well, every minute seems like an hour.  I was dying.  After about a half hour I said fuck it, I'm taking my feet out of the stirrups, no matter what they told me to do.  I didn't care if I fell off the side of a mountain, that fucking horse was killing me.  Second after second, minute after minute the torture continued.  Have you ever prayed for a bear to leap from the woods and maul you to death?  During those two torturous hours I would have gladly let a bear eat my ass, as opposed to the pain that ball slapping nag was putting me through.
Finally after two gruelling hours we made our way back to the ranch.  We had to get off of the horse by climbing down onto a wooden stand and walk down some stairs to the ground.  When I finally down I felt like getting down on my hands and knees (even though they were killing me) and kiss the ground.  NEVER, EVER, EVER, will I climb upon a horse again.

Summer Siesta

I have had a very busy summer.  House guests for over six weeks.  Holy shit, what a fucking gong show!  I have never washed so many dishes in my entire life; at least I haven't filled the dishwasher so many times.  Not much time to blog.  The old AB hash't had a lot to be angry about, other than the weather and an old favorite: road construction.  I have filled my time with dishes, cleaning, driving, cutting grass (at the farm - a six hour job, every five days!), eating (way too much!), entertaining (you all know what a wonderful host I am...), exercising and dreaming of the the day when MDW finally retires from the life--sucking job of educating the youths of today.

Highlight of the summer was 'The Boy's' visit.  We had a wonderful time as Neil and his friend were here for two weeks.  We visited Jasper/Columbia IceFields/Banff, dined at a few of our favorite restaurants, visited and generally enjoyed our very limited time together.  He celebrated his 27th birthday and seemed to enjoy his time in Sherwood Park.  He is back to Cornell, for his third year of grad school, working on whatever it is that theoretical linguists work on.  He is 'TAing' a cognitive science class this term, which he is tremendously excited about; along with a little nervous.  He tells me that his interest in 'artificial intelligence' is another area in which he is now investigating.  This has been a fascination of his for a long, long time.  I told him that artificial intelligence is something that I have mastered... I have gotten away with not having any fucking brains for over fifty years and only the very clever have figured it out. 

Our friends from Switzerland were here for over five weeks and we did have a fun holiday with them; albeit busy, busy, busy.  Five people, two girls aged eleven and thirteen, and an extremely active two year old, basically turned our boring, routine life upside down. MDW cooked three big meals a day and planned things to do for the group for each and every one of those five weeks.  We did a lot of fun things around the Edmonton area and ate way, way, way too much rich, tasty food.  

Played poker on Tuesday at BP's and had some laughs.  It is always great to catch up with the going ons of our merry little band.  The highlight is always the reality show called BP's life.  I told him to start with the misdemeanours, go to the felonies and finish with the international incidents.  Of coarse he had a little of each to share with us.  I am so fucking boring compared to him...

The rest of the boys were in good spirits.  JS went to band camp, and the sunshine coast.  LK tanned in BC and watched his new home slowly, ever so slowly, grow before his eyes.  PR loving his new adventure, which includes not getting ready for school.  Everyone was in good spirits and we talked so much, we often lost track of what was going on in the game.  Talk about a lack of focus.  I felt like John Lovitz, who once said on Saturday Night Live doing a skit about a presidential debate "And I'm losing to these fucking guys!"  Poker sucks!

Well it is late and I should get al little shut eye.  I apologize to all who waste their time reading my bullshit, for the lack of effort this summer.  I will try to get my ass in gear and have a little more to blab about on a regular basis.  

Congrats to JF and her hubby who have a little one to nurture.  Good luck with all that...  You will never have another restful sleep!  

Teachers: good luck with another new and exciting year.  Do I sound like some central office administrator trying to blow smoke up your ass?  Hang in there, your day will come when you can play poker with our group on a Thursday morning in October.  I'll bet you can't wait...

I am sure I speak for everyone when I raise my middle finger to all road construction and its fucking lazy, non-working employees. When will the madness end...?  Ahhh, it's good to be back!