SNL Music Review - Nov. 5/11 (Maroon 5)

I am watching SNL tonight and a band called Maroon 5 will be performing.  Maroon 5?  I’ll bet Moron 5 is more like it. We’ll see…

Five minutes later.

  Ahhh, I am always correct!

Blashphemer!  First song was ‘Move Like Jagger’.  Ha, you wish.  Maybe Andrea Jaeger the former female tennis player.  Sounds  like her also. Except he doesn’t sing as well.   

I couldn’t really really grasp the words to the song, mainly because I was mezmorized by the plethora of tatoos adorning the lead singers arms.  Can someone please show some restaint with the fucking tatoos?  Clever rhyming in this song.  Ya, real clever.  Similar to the lyrical genius Drake, who rhymes like a six year old.  How many lines can you end with a rhyme for you.  Apparently about four minutes worth.  And if I have to see another idiot’s underwear,  I will vomit.   

Song two:  Great! Another singer joins the fray with more tattoos, plus holes in his ears the size of loonies.  How attractive.  And he’s wearing pajama bottoms. But what makes it really special is the rapping.  I love that.  The tatoos around the neck are special.  Does he really need that scarf around his neck?  It distracts us from the gang related tatoos, that we are all dying to see. 

So now we have ‘Squeeky and the Rapper’ with duelling tattos. And they end it with a pretend hug.  How sincere. 

I don’t have a clue what the song was or what it was about.  I can’t get past the tatoos, scarf, underwear and bad lyrics.   Another pitiful performance by a band that will fade into oblivion. 

Today’s world is all about looks and being cool.  Everyting is superficial, with little or no substance.  The music is a perfect example of this.  The bands suck, and they are adored because they have a hundred tatoos and look cool.  And also because kids today haven’t heard any good music, so they don’t know anything better. The music that is produced is laughable.  No one, and I repeat, no one will be listening to most of these shitty musicians five minutes from now, let alone thirty years down the road.  As the guards on top of the castle in Monty Python’s said, “I wave my testicals at you!”