Hockey Pool Angst

   I knew I shouldn’t have joined this fucking hockey pool.  It’s keeping me up night, I tell ya…

   I am not really the kind of person to just join something and not really care that much about it.  If I’m in, I’m in.  In the ‘good old days’, I used to check the hockey scores daily (as I still do), however; in those days, you only added up your team total scores once a week (Tuesday’s Journal had the teams stats) and so you only suffered or gloated one day a week.  Now with the fucking ‘technology age’ you are able to check daily how you are doing, which is a slow form of death.  Do I really need to know every day that my fucking guys couldn’t piss in the ocean if they were standing knee deep in the water?  I think not!

   I’m not going to lie to you, I like to win.  I have always been very successful in hockey pools, winning at least75% of the time and usually being in the money.  To suck, really sucks.  I have a difficult time seeing people who don’t know shit about sports ahead of me in the pool.  I mean, one of the teams ahead of me has a member who once choose a dead man (I shit you not) in one of the drafts.  And like Jon Lovitz once said on SNL (playing Dukakis in a Presidential election debate), “And I’m losing to this guy?”

   I always comes down to me thinking I’m smarter than others concerning sports.  How could they know as much as me, after all that’s all I do.  Watch sports, read about sports, think about sports.  And I’m losing?  Hmmmm?  I don’t get it.  Could it be that I’m not nearly as smart as I think I am?   Nahhhhh!  

   I will put the blame where is should be: on others.  As I have said many times – I am rarely wrong, and when I am… I don’t admit it!  It’s not me... Right Rob?

   I have come to the realization that the reason no one can find a plumber to do any work for you these days is that all the plumbers are playing in the NHL.  How else can you explain the fucking inept players in that league?

Thursday night, I had twelve players playing and I got three points.  THREE FUCKING POINTS!  How is that possible?  I can do the fucking math on how many points per man that works out to be.  Gretzky used to bank than many goals in a night off of Brett Callighan’s ass.  I had three teams (with five players total playing) get shut out.  

   And then on top of it, I got fucking Sheebs grinding my gears about how great the Oilers are doing and their wonderful defense (it won’t fucking last… trust me!).  Rach is grinding me concerning RNH, giving me the old ‘I told you so’ bullshit.  So I got that going for me, which is always nice. 

Jesus, Sheebs plays a couple fucking games in the ACAC forty years ago and he’s an expert?  And Rach… he’s from O’Leary.  What the fuck does he know about hockey?  Soccer… ? Maybe. Football…? Perhaps. Organized crime…? For sure.  But hockey? C’mon, get the fuck outta here!

   You see, getting my assed kicked in the hockey pool brings out the worst in me.   I’m trashing Rach and Jimmer.   I should just remember to do what makes me the happiest: sitting in my bubble and not interact with the outside world.