More Special Than Me

   We have always been told that we all are special in the eyes of the Lord.  Apparently their are many, many people in this world that are much more special than I am.  Here are a few that I have had the pleasure of recently:
- the special people who park wherever they want.  There may be a  'No Parking' sign, but that doesn't apply to them.  Be it in front of the drug store; by the door at the bank; in a 'Disabled Parking' zone; or taking up 2/3 spots.  Obviously these people are very special and do not feel the need to follow the rules or signs.  If questioned, they usually answer that they "JUST had to run in for a minute."  Fuck you!
- the special people that take more than 15 items to the express lane at the grocery store.  My question is this: are they illiterate or just plain stupid? They either can't read or they can't comprehend.  A lady working at Safeway told me that some old women came to the Express Lane and had over $600 worth of groceries.   Punishment for that should be death!
How about those special drivers out there?
- you know the ones that drive in the asshole lane.  That's the lane that ends.  The assholes; who don't like having to wait, drive in it anyways.  Then some fucking smuck lets them in and they get reinforced that they are special.  This is also know as the Brian Parasynchuk lane. (He says he loves that lane and says "Bye suckers").  I say run them into the ditch or preferably; a light post.
- those special people who are too stupid to understand merging.  Merging does not mean that you get to go in front of everyone else, asshole.  It mean you are to get into the lane when it is safe.  This is the classic road bully who just pushes his way in.
- how about those special people with nicer cars than me and obviously were given a park this way (\) instead of this way (l) pass.  Now I understand that there are a lot of morons who bang your car doors with theirs; however, that doesn't give you the right to take up two lanes.  If it is such a problem, stay the fuck at home! Your choice.
- those ever considerate people who are too special to turn off their cell phone in public.  Thanks asshole!
- even worst is the special people that insist that we listen to their phone conversations.  Apparently these phone conversations are so important that they must talk loud enough for everyone to hear; as well as go on for half an hour. Wow, riveting stuff. Tell me more...
- isn't it fun to sit in a restaurant and listen to some loud mouth special person who doesn't have the brains or grace to understand that no one else in the entire establishment wants to hear his life story.  But he goes on and on and on and.... Shut the fuck up!
-I love people who come to social events at the last minute and disrupt everyone by trying to get a really good seat.  Then they look around stunned that there is no seats available for them, front and center. It's like they are expecting everyone to leave a seat just for them.
- I love people who are so special that they really think that store clerks or bank tillers want to hear their life story.  Meanwhile everyone in line gets to sit there, stewing.  Blah, blah, blah.  My friend Daniel, from Switzerland, was in a bank in Sherwood Park and some jerk was telling the tiller his life story.  Daniel yelled at him "Hey, hurry up. Everyone here wants to get their money."  They threw Daniel out of the bank.  How wrong is that?
- here's an oldie but a goodie: dog owners who do not pick up their dog's crap.  Of course all dog owners will deny that they would ever do that.  So how come the world is strewn with dog shit everywhere?
- how about those special people who walk down the middle of the parking lot without the slightest idea that there might be a car driving... in the parking lot.  La-di-da. They stroll along, like they don't have a care in the world.  Then they look at you like "WTF.  What are doing in this parking lot?"  How about this: get the fuck out of the way, fat ass! Wal-Mart is particularly bad for this one.  Yokels and hillbillies.  Special yokels and special hillbillies.
     Now the answer to why all of these special people do all of these things: BECAUSE THEY WANT TO.  It's simple.  Selfish people doing selfish things.  It's a selfish world overrun with selfish people. That is why I live in a bubble.