Sorry to all of you out there who have been waiting impatiently for my latest bunch of crap (ha, ha, ha!). I have a really good excuse: I'm fucking lazy! Bottom line, that's it.
However, I have renewed motivation today, for some unknown reason. After all, what do I have to complain about? I DON'T WORK and they pay me to stay home. As Michael in my last class said "Sweet".
Today, a short trip to the bank gave me three opportunities to go fucking crazy. First; I get to the bank and there are few parking spots available. Three losers, and I'm quite sure they are losers; are outside having a smoke. Not only are they stupid enough to stand outside in the cold weather, just for a smoke, they are standing in one of the few available parking spots. Just smokin' and bullshittin'. Nice. I should have fucking ran them over. Gawd forbid that I should interrupt their precious smoke. What? You couldn't fucking smoke somewhere else? Oh no, they block a parking spot. That is one reason I believe in Charles Barkley's philosophy of being able to kill two people a day to thin the heard of the stupid.
Next I go into the bank and when I get near the front, this fucking women is taking forever, about some 'problem'. What drove me crazy was what she was wearing. She got the basic sweat pants, frumpy skidoo boots and nascar/snowmobile type bomber jacket. What was fucking unbelievable was the plethora of autographs on the jacket from legendary 'monster truck' drivers like 'Gravedigger' and the likes. I couldn't recognize most; mainly because I would rather be drawn and quartered than to go to a 'monster truck' event. Classy.
Then on my way home I go to turn at the very busy turning lane, heading north off of the Sherwood Park Freeway. Unfortunately I can't turn because, two little puddings are taking Rover for a walk, despite not having a 'WALK' sign. Here is one of the 2/3 busiest corners in a very busy Sherwood Park and the line of cars must wait for these two retards who must cross with their dog, NOW. Fucking idiots. Again you should be able to run people over, who prove that they are too stupid to live (my decision).
Well, two weeks until the big dance and my annual humiliation at the hands of my beloved Tar Heels. Not this year baby! I not penciling them in past the first round, unless they play the Sisters of the Blessed Virgin Mary Community Collage in the second round. They are softer than tissue paper. You are warned.
My only worry is that greasy bastard Calapari will win. Please God, no! How about Ichabod Crane and the Orangemen? Ick. Crybaby Sha-chef-ski? Double ick. Kansas? Na. Ohio State? Not likely. Maybe I will go for Michigan State. I like Izzo. Whatever, all the teams suck this year. The one and done is killing collage basketball.
Now how will I be able to convince my boss Rob that I am really sick on that opening day Thursday, so I don't have to go to the office and work? Any ideas...????
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