I did something last night that I never do: I left the bubble. Keener took me to an Oil Kings game and I loved it. The game was great. I relived my youth. The memories of going to the Oil Kings games at the old Gardens are some of the best memories I have. It was wonderful. Anyone too young to have experienced junior hockey in the sixties and seventies can not understand how great it was. The old Gardens (really an old barn – or so it seems to me now) was rocking with 5200 people. The games were exciting, cheap and fun. You got to see future stars and because the Oil Kings had a noticable local flavor, you saw kids playing that you knew or perhaps had played with and against growing up. The hockey was tremendous and because it was the only show in town, Edmonton loved the Oil Kings. These young men were the heros to kids and Edmontonians alike. This was big time hockey.
The most fun was sitting up in the North end behind the scouts and listening to them scout the players or read what they wrote down about certain players. It was cool to know that they thought so and so was top prospect or not.
Despite really enjoying the game, last night’s event had none of the ‘feel good’ qualities that old-time hockey had. Junior hockey is truly the best hockey in the world. It is played at a high level of skill, yet there is a certain reckless, mistakes prone quality that professional hockey completely lacks. As I have written before; professional hockey makes watching paint dry, exciting. Dump and chase. 1-0 with perhaps a shootout victory. BORING! Junior hockey on the other hand has excitement at almost every turn. Mistakes and at times shakey skill levels, make the junior game fun. People who come to the games love it, you can tell. They identify with these kids and love the action.
What make me cringe was the way the time between whistles has changed. It used to be that you watched the game in silence and when the action stopped, you discussed, bitched, moaned or exalted in the action. Now it becomes a fucking circus. Loud noise blares from overhead. The scoreboard, well actually a very large TV with numbers on it, roars into action with live commentators interviewing people in the stands, or exhorting the crowd to ‘go crazy’, amoung other stupid things. There is tee-shirt throws, sing alongs, name that tune, every fucking thing under the sun, to stop the paying customer from actually talking about the game or perhaps sitting there thinking about what just happened. No, this is the video generation and we must keep them occupied every single second with a bombardment of noise, give-a-ways, and ‘cool’ activities to keep their nano-second of attention span centered in the arena. Now I know why, when they scan the crowds at various sporting activities, everyone is on the cell phone: it doesn’t matter if you miss the action because it will be on the big TV screen overhead right away. So it’s much better to spend your money on a ticket and then sit there and text your friends or talk to who the fuck ever.
It is a gong show. No quiet time at all. Then about half way through the period, the endgates open up and people come out onto the ice and start sweeping/scraping the ice. Some clown takes a walk from one end to the other, using some kind of electronic gaget that he points at the ice, obviously measures something and writes it down. Meanwhile the music is blaring, the TV is screaming, shit is going on all over and I’m sitting there wondering WTF?
All of a sudden a goal is scored and this unbelievably loud noise occurs, that sounds to me like an enormous ocean liner is sideswiping some little ship and is blowing it’s horn in anger for the boat to get the fuck out of the way. It lasts what seems like an eternity. Then the players start lining up to congratulate their bench with high fives and the goalie comes out of his cage to stand and join the celebration. Again…WTF? How that kind of stuff doesn’t start brawls is beyond me.
Ahhhh, the horn ending the period. Now maybe a little quiet time. Are you fucking kidding me? The next twelve minutes are a non stop shit show. Games, skaters, activities, more tee-shirts, the same fucking TV guy blabbing non-stop on the screen, puck tosses and so many other things that my little pea brain can’t remember them all. Then it’s duelling Zambonies. Two of the fucking machines cleaning the ice. So the plan is to have all of this shit going on and then have twice the ice cleaners so it will only take half as long to clean the ice. Fucking rediculous.
The game was terrific. I really like the Oil Kings. They have a great defense. I think the Oilers should trade their defense for the Oil Kings, then they would have something. Oil Kings won 8-4. Everyone got a $10 gift certificate from Earl’s for scoring over six goals (Keener gave me his – sweeeeeet!), and I was home at nine-thirty. I was great. Maybe the next time I go, I won’t be quite so shocked at the plethora of activities and bullshit going on at the game, but this to me is an example of how today’s fans need more than just sports to entertain them. Blame it on the technoligical world we live in or whatever, but the game is not enough for most of the people at the game last night. Their attention span is so fucking short that they can’t just watch a hockey game. They need non-stop entertainment. That is so sad to me. Sports is about the game, not the circus between whistles.
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